Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
