It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
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