its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
