Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
