I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
