He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
