Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
