So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
