why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
