the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
