I cannot find my penis.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
