Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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(210): View more from Texas

He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.

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(360): View more from Washington

Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.

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(302): View more from Delaware

She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"

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(859): View more from Kentucky

While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.

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(714): View more from California

I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals

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(519): View more from Ontario

You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.

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(650): View more from California

Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?

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