kristin has been a bad kristin
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize