You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
