If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
