porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
