Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize