How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
where are you?
Hypothermia
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need water and some morals
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
