wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize