Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's rum buckets o'clock
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
