Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i came on her dog
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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