It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How naked do you want me to be?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
