Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
