I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Houston, we have a squirter
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
