You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
