Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
