I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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