i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
