Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize