Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
