my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
