She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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