A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
