I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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