you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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