if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
