eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she told me i tasted like america
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize