Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
