We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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