I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
