3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She announced her abortion via fbk
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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