You're completely useless in the revolution.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
