Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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