i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
