i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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