Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
