pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
