You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
