At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
