I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize