Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
