Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
