i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
