how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
