nut hugger
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
