Dual....:-)
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
