sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
