im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
