All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
