its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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